Friday, March 11, 2016

Happy 10 Year Anniversary to my Beloved

Dear Yoga Practice, 

Today is a special day for you and I. 
Today marks our 10 year anniversary of finding one another (in this lifetime). 
I cannot Thank You enough, my beloved. 

We found each other a few months after one of the biggest moves of my life (and most important) when I was 17 years old. My first lesson in the magical rewards of leaving a life familiar with many comfort zones. I am not sure what road I would be on right now if we wouldn't have found each other: probably something easier, a lot less honest, and a lot less real. 
Thank you for catching 10 years of tears, laughs, and sweat pools. 

Thank you for watching my fears and giving me bravery to overcome them too. Thank you for being so near when everything else seemed so far. Thank you for greeting me every time I came to visit not with flowers and hugs (which you do that too somedays!) but with reality and humility (most days). 

We met in a Bikram Yoga studio, somewhere you would never, ever find me these days. But that is where we met, so I will always have appreciation. 
Thank you for showing me what commitment and love actually look like---and it is harder and less glamorous than what I thought it would be---but it is always worth it. 

Thank you for being one of the true friendships that watched and aided from above when the relationships that were expiring and needing to melt away gently left my life...including the old versions of myself. 
Thank you for teaching me that pride isn't as important as forgiveness and kindness. And that it isn't what you do, but its how you do it, and who you are while you are doing it.  
Sweet beloved, we soon discovered Vinyasa yoga together and that is the path you have taught me the most on. Oh my, and then Ashtanga. The years of waking up at 4am, to drive 75 minutes one way, just to kiss you and honor you? Those were my favorite years.  
Thank you for the many boons and blessings and opportunities that I have had to show and share with others the kind of love we have---which has only made me love you and Us even more. 
Thank you for so many days of health and happiness. 
Thank you for the acceptance. 

Thank you for showing me the depths of my feelings in Yin Yoga. Vinyasa has taught me to burn, transpire, transform, and reawaken to the endless ups and downs of life, but Yin, you have brought me to my knees, to the ocean floor, of complete and utter...healing. 

Thank you for showing me that all such paths always lead back to you. Back to me. Thank you for showing me that what I think of you and how I treat you, is actually how I have been thinking and treating myself.

Thank you Texas. Thank you Dharma Yoga. Thank you to the Two Rivers where I found a place to voice my love and passion. Thank you forever and ever Sara who made me take a teacher training. And then MADE me start teaching right away. So often we are crippled by what we love and hold dearest and forget to just BEGIN. 
Yoga love, thank you for teaching me that perfection is an illusion and the only thing that matters is how you feel. Thank you for the reminder that feelings do pass. And change of hearts happen. And what comes easy one day---is a complete shit storm the next. ***Garbha Pindasana***

Thank you New York for teaching me to always stay persistent. And for your tough, tough love. And that as much as I would like yoga to live in my perfect ideal dreamworld of love and sharing---it too must be a business and a hustle.

Thank you Yoga Practice for welcoming me back after I have abandoned you. Thank you for forgiving me when I thought I didn't need you---only to return in tears to tell you how much I have missed you. 

Thank you for lessons in envy and jealousy, love bug. When I have envied others, it is only my own self limiting doubts holding me back from having and achieving the life I want. When I have felt envied by others, I have learned that even though it is more comfortable to dim my light-- it is more empowering to stay in my ray of sun, light, and truth. What they have yet to learn is that they too have the handle to the sun. Thank you for teaching me to have compassion and a genuine hope for their own discovery. 
Thank you for the strong body we sculpted together from the inside out. We both know that this body was not created to look well, but to feel well. And sugar, I think we now have both. Love you!!!

Thank you for the lessons in Anger. It is you that I have realized the Power of Anger and what remarkable transformations that can happen because of it. Thank you for teaching me that Anger lives between my lungs, in my solar plexus, and has a heart beat too. I have seen it! And that by working with my anger and letting it have a life too, my core became stronger (literally and spiritually).
Thank you for watching me grow. And grow up. And fall down. And try to grow again. 
Thank you for letting me expand and stretch and try new things. And learn the lessons I needed to because you offered me the space and freedom to. 

Thank you for being my special sparkle under the scenes. No one knows how much we whisper in secret, when it appears that I am just doing the dishes, shopping for groceries, or commuting on the train. You my love have kept me connected. To myself. To source. To the stars. To fate. To magic. 

We are lucky to have found each other. Some people walk around their entire lives with no one to whisper to. 
We do. And it is real. 
 Today I recommit to you 10 more years---I understand it will look very different from the last 10---but I am excited and curious to see how we keep evolving this Love. 
Ten years ago I never would have thought I would be in Germany writing you this thank you and anniversary letter before I go practice at Ashtanga Yoga Berlin. 

Maybe we can travel more together over the next decade. Create more. Inspire more. Love more. Invite more humans, aliens, and mermaids into our mix. Show them how much we can love them by how much we love each other.
Cheers to you my beloved and most important relationship. 
I promise to keep putting in the effort. 
You have always been worth it. 

Yours forever and ever, 

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Barcelona and Awakened Men

I just got back a few days ago from spending 5 days and 4 nights in Barcelona. I stayed right in the central area of Born, near El Gotic district.

It was comforting to hear Spanish being spoken. I am not fluent in Spanish but I know a lot more Spanish than I do German and I felt as if I was closer to home.

I got lucky with the warm weather there and spent all afternoon this past Saturday on the beach. Wearing a dress. In February! Magical Meditteranean Sea bliss.

I felt even more at home next to the ocean.

I spent my days walking, watching, eating amazing Tapas, taking pictures of the Cathedral and Segrada Familia. I went to one of the most famous night clubs in Barcelona, the Razzmattazz. It was a 5 room club with each room playing different music. It was certainly an interesting experience. I even joined a Cannabis Club which is a popular subculture there. It was very interesting meeting people there and talking to the owners about the culture and legalization laws.

My favorite experience of the whole trip was an amazing holisitic/reiki/sensual massage I received. It felt like a gift from another dimension. I booked a massage with what I thought was a female massage therapist one morning.

I arrived at the center to be let inside by a very...VERY...attractive man. With an Australian accent. He asked me to choose a body oil that I would like. I chose a peppermint blend since it was a 9:30am massage. Tea and water were also offered. (And chocolate after the massage!)

We went into the beautifully candlelit room and he left the room so I could unrobe and get ready. I am writing about this massage because it was the best I've ever had in my life. It reminded me a lot of the work I do and expereinces that I have facilitated for others.

So this massage. There was a sense of connection. Of deeply being seen, deeper then my skin of course. It was energetically healing and aligning. He held my hand and we breathed together many times throughout the bodywork. (Again, this is nothing out of the ordinary for me to do with people that I work with, but I am never on the receiving end of this kind of experience).

It was incredible. This massage made me feel beautiful. This massage made me remember how I like to be treated, touched, and of the marvels that I deserve. It made me so grateful that awakened men in this universe exist. Ladies: there are men that are radically awakened. Aligned. Know how to touch and treat a woman. And will make you feel beautiful without saying a word, without touching you sexually. This exists. I had forgotten for a little while, but yes--this exists. It also reminded me of the universal language of Reiki and energy/body healing work. The work itself is the language--no need for words. Therefore, this work can be taken anywhere and applied to anyone who is open to the experience. 

I have had an ongoing conversation with my best friend for a few months about dating, relationships, sex, beauty, love, life, creativity. She is a pillar in a my life and talking with her is always healing and fun. We both have encountered relationships along the way with men who do not have a desire to please women. Let me clarify: do not have a desire to please a woman they are with intimately and sexually--however, this ripples into every other category where a woman can be pleased. Ugh, yes unfortunately...this kind of man exists too. Unforunately, these are the men that have not awakened to the power and bliss of the Goddess Woman. But what this really is, is egocentric behavior. Ego that is unawakened. Ego that wants, takes, and has selfish desires. AWAKENED ego receives AND gives.

Taking is not a part of the Awakened ego, RECEIVING is. There is a difference. You can feel it with your own energy too. When someone receives your touch, you feel more alive and excited to give! When someone takes your energy, you may feel depleted, or a desire to create distance from this person. Giving to them is not enjoyable; it feels draining instead of invigorating. There is also a lack of appreciation of what you are giving.

So I choose to tap more into MY own awakened feminine, which helps me to increase my perceptions, trust my intuitions, and have more awareness of my feelings in order for my life to be awakened. Illuminated. For the path to become more clear. To steer me in the direction of Giving and Receiving...

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Burning Man Changed My Life This Year...And I Didn't Even Have to Go

Yes, the title is correct. 1000% correct.

I have heard countless life changing Burning Man stories---epiphanies, divine synchronicities, love stories, and let-go stories that have all happened on The Playa.

My Burning Man story this year was a bit different...and it is still unfolding…still burning…

I got my SCORE of a ticket for Burning Man in May. Very affordable, considering. I was accepted into an amazing camp with about 8 of my closest girlfriends. I was even approved and put on the schedule to teach a nude yoga class with one of my best friend's, DJ Miss Jade, that would be spinning some hot deep house electronica. New experiences, yes! Pushed out of the comfort zone, absolutely. I was ready and so excited!

Life switched gears and tempo about a month after making plans...not a whole lot, but enough to throw my Burning Man plan off-key. Now this next section could become a whole other blog, or even book...but in the very shortest...I walked back into a relationship that had a hold on all of my heart strings. Every single one of them. Heart strings, ego strings, past life strings, some of my soul chords too. A relationship so deep and a love so old---ancient, timeless, that I forgot about myself, yet at some points all I could see was myself. The mirrored match. The selfish-selfless dance. A trance.  The "You will see, learn, hate, appreciate, love, detest, lust, disgust more than you ever want to see mirrored back to you" kind of duo. In two words---heavy healing.

I found myself being given an ultimatum: to choose Burning Man or the relationship. With trying to keep my judgments low and fair, I see both sides. Burning Man and the ideology is not for everyone. Some people would be terrified to have their partner go to Burning Man without them, some would be totally turned on, some may find a way to make it their destiny too, some may be enthusiastically supportive, some may be neutral or ambivalent. I understand all sides. Some more than others, but I get it. I hear it.

I hear and see "Choose Love" all over the place. Tee shirts, memes, themes for yoga classes. Sometimes this path is clear and easy, but sometimes "Choosing Love" is actually really hard to follow. Wait, am I choosing Self-Love or the love of someone else? I am choosing what I really want or am I choosing what someone that I love really wants...

With the tools, emotions, hope, and faith that I had at that time: I chose the route of union. The route of two, of relationship. I chose to stay in the relationship, and not go to Burning Man.

I now see things more clearly:

1. Either route would have been the path of Love whether it was self-exploration, travel, and GOING to Burning Man, or the route of "The Lovers".

2. I now realize more of what I need from a partner and a love relationship: F-R-E-E-D-O-M. No choices. It's not one over the other, but it is both. There must be a way to find both, to support both. There must be a way to be committed, yet be free. Free singing songbirds.

3. Moving forward, I do not subscribe to an enclosed love anymore. I wish I could. It would make things a lot easier, and I think my seeking would have been quenched a long time ago. Instead, I choose a path of radical self-honesty, of radical freedom. The unknown and unexplored holds more lessons and value to me than the route of safety, of security. Because all of that is fleeting anyways. I’d rather live without the mask. So moving forward, this is no longer a part of my definition of love. Sacrifice travel, adventure, and freedom for another's comfort and lessening of pain: this is not my truth anymore. It’s an unwise compromise.

My heart and love have outgrown these patriarchal confines and limitations. Ego is small, but love is large.

Love is infinite. It doesn’t begin nor end in this lifetime.

Love is incredibly vast and expansive. There are no limits. And in some cases, no boundaries.

Love is harmonic.

So moving this short story of events forward, my counter offer to NOT going to Burning Man, was a European trip together. I had never been to Europe--we had never traveled together—a fair and everyone wins compromise.  

Plane tickets purchased. Planning in progress...

Two weeks before the up.
Breakthrough, rather. Well, a breakdown, then a breakthrough, and lastly a breakaway.

The next piece of wisdom I have learned:

Wisdom #1. Nothing is for certain. No person is for no more sacrificing. That is not the REAL path of love, anyways. Love doesn’t ask you to give up what you yearn and must seek in order to grow. Love lets. Love trusts. Love knows and believes in its strength. Deeply.

Wisdom #2. I am so fucking fierce. I have been told this…but now I believe this. Especially now. Choosing power and liberation over victimhood cultivates razor sharp fierceness. And that shit burns hot.

Wisdom #3. Burn the Man, Burn the Plan. When plans change, see the wild opportunity that awaits. You fly and you go, even if that means flying alone. Eagles never fly in groups…that is buzzard bullshit.

Our European trip has now taken on a whole new meaning: my solo traveling, my solo exploring, my solo adventure. Independent staccato. It could not have been any more divine, purposeful, beautiful, synchronistic, and meaningful. Most of my favorite parts would not have happened if I hadn't been alone. In fact, I needed to be alone in order for ALL of them to happen.

I met a girl in Amsterdam who was uncannily in the same flow as me. Both “supposed” to be in Europe with someone but ended up going solo. So what did we do? We went out of course! Some “only in Amsterdam” stories were created (and I may see her in Spain next month!) I definitely had some strange and unique encounters in Cologne, but the real magic was revealed in Berlin. Art, music, disco naps, meeting fellow liebekind wizard fish that only breathe and release love through their gills. (Liebe=love kind=child in Deutsch).

Every moment felt fated. Of the whole trip, that is where my song found it’s stream. Life strangely flowed. Life always flows, but this was a different kind of current. I found my frequency. Progressive and funky. Textured, deep, dark, yet polyphonic and playful.

 This interconnectedness makes me certain that there is no doubt a higher dance, a higher calling, a higher meaning to every---single---thing. Nothing is mistaken; nothing is forgotten; everyone's heartstrings and soul chords are heard. Everything works out; everything is orchestrated. It’s just a matter of time before the beats align.

So the result of all this...I bought a one-way ticket to Berlin. I leave in less than a month! A week at Burning Man was replaced with an unknown return date to Berlin.

Berlin sang my new song to me and hasn't stopped singing since I came back to Brooklyn. I don't know how long the song is, but I know I must play it. For the first leap of faith has no one else involved. Just me. Just my own music, my own rhythm, my own jazzy, house nasty, melodic, yet technotic drum beat disco bass. I need to dance!

 I'm not going on a hike to hike someone else's dream; I am not moving across the country for love; I am not saying I will stay to spare someone discomfort, because I have done all of these things before—and they were all beautiful albums and tracks in my life, but they were not my song. My song is sharp and it’s about time I listen to it loud.

I am going to Berlin as an independent, whole, and still healing individual. Who is responsible for this? Me! Who is making this decision? Ahh, yes, me too. No more consulting the choir.

It has been such a trip to realize how responsible for my own life, happiness, desires, and values I am. My heart beats in my own chest, in my own body. There is a reason you cannot hear or feel the bass from where you aren't supposed to. And I'm not supposed to hear or feel your bass from where I am. Our hearts may be similar, but you don't have the key. Only I do. It’s my love note, my love song.

What a silly and irresponsible notion of someone else having a key to your heart. No they don't. You do. Start unlocking it, morning bird. You have the key and there is only a cage if you choose it. And if you lost your key, you are responsible for seeking and finding it now. We all are. We are all responsible for finding our own music, our own song. Then we must sing it and we must share it.

So, Burning Man: thank you. You played your role perfectly and have been quite the catalyst for many unknown and unexplored adventures…

Me NOT going to Burning Man was a huge Burner Awakening. Lots of epiphanies, divine synchronicities, love stories, and let-go stories for this this years burn...

Monday, April 13, 2015

Universe Whispers

I taught a yoga class today revolving around one of my favorite themes: trust, surrender, the Niyama of Isvara Pranidhana--surrendering to something greater than ourselves, the universe, God, for some.

This theme of surrender and trust has been my backbone for the past many weeks. I don't live my life with too much of a plan, but I know when the cosmos, the world, something higher is pulling or pushing me to rearrange my furniture. The challenge I have been finding myself not quite seeing where I am being moved, how, why, and with what purpose.

Then the universe whispers, "Everything is working out in your favor. Trust me."

And she is always right...

Tripping Over Joy

What is the difference
Between your experience of existence
And that of a saint?

The Saint Knows
That the spiritual path 
Is a sublime chess game with God

And that the Beloved
Has just made such a Fantastic Move 

That the Saint is now continually 
Tripping over Joy
And bursting out in Laughter 
And saying "I surrender!"

Whereas, my dear, 
I am afraid you still think 
You have a thousand serious moves


Monday, November 3, 2014

Pithy Pithy Platforms

Nothing can be taken away if I have the mind-set of "Nothing is Mine".

Nothing is mine in a sense of no ownership. Not my house, my belongings, my shoes, my relationships, my jobs.

When I begin to identify "mine" with things--nouns and proper nouns--that is when things begin to go a bit awry. I become attached and trapped. And as soon as attachment and entrapment happen, it is as if the world goes on to show me the false belief of "owning".

I can enjoy and embrace, but never, ever own. Sigh.

The physical world, in my perspective, is as fleeing as the wind. And just as unpredictable. Everything here has an expiration date. My almond milk, my lease, my debit cards,  my body. Nothing will be allowed to come with me to the grave, so why hold on so tight? Why can it be so hard to let go?

The past few months have been challenging, with a lot of big decisions to make, and sometimes with not much time to decide. I feel as if I have been on a long quest to finding a home in NYC. From living with my boyfriend, to moving out to live with friends, to getting evacuated from a landlord with intentions on renovations and $$$, to storage unit 1, to storage unit 2, to the next decision on where to go.

It feels as if every place I have been has been a landing pad. A place to sit, find rest, settle, but not to get comfortable enough to stay. The ground evaporates. Even my shoes on Halloween melted off my feet.

As I left the dance floor, the venue, and found myself on the raining and chilled city streets, my left shoe breaks. I take a few more steps and it breaks again in a different place. It's raining and it's cold and I scurry to find shelter under the scaffolding on 11th Ave. and W 56th St. In my scuffling, my right shoe breaks too. In all the same places as the left did. Both shoes completely busted.

This seemed like a perfect metaphor for exactly what I am learning in my life. Support from the external world has a shelf life. The safety pods hold me just as long as I need to be held, and when it's time to jump, it's time to take off the old carcass, the broken platforms, and jump with a whole lot of trust, love, and maybe some luck.

Have you ever ran as fast as you can in a forest?

A forest with uncertain and unpredictable terrain? Stones, moss, broken branches, logs, stumps, holes. The only way to choose your steps is to just GO. To begin with some momentum, awareness, clarity, and faith. Keep your eyes open and start leaping. A rhythm begins to show itself and there is a balance between movement and choice that becomes much like a meditation. The stones, moss, and broken branches support you for just a moment---and it is enough. It's all you need.

NYC has become my forest. I run as fast as I can, working diligently to stay as clear and true to myself as possible, hoping and trusting the next stone or shoe will support me just as long as I need it to.

I think the bigger lesson here is realizing the inner stones, pillars, platforms, and support systems that are truly strengthened when the outer ones start to disintegrate. My bones and German gusto! But that too will melt in time.

My inner love and bravery. My passions and my dreams.

Remembering that everything I truly, truly need has already been build and secured inside me.

Happy (Late) Anniversary New York!

Last month marked the 1 year anniversary that I re-moved back to NYC. I have never been happier with my choice to come back. In the last year, I have learned quite a bit about the city, people, and myself. I have learned to think smarter and quicker, love wiser, and have as much fun as possible.

A Few Things I have Learned From Living in NYC the Past Year...

1. Auditions and Interviews:
  • The first 3-10 interviews or auditions are for practice (and have served their importance!) After 10, you are a pro. Some interviews and auditions are great experiences and something positive will happen from them. And then some interviews are just buns...
  • When I get nervous for an interview...very good sign...when I am milk-toast about an interview...I know I need to reflect on what I REALLY, REALLY want out of jobs and life
  • Negative people will have negative feedback and essentially will probably be a negative place to work...
  • Can't take things too personally...listen to feedback...take the bits to improve on and trash what you know isn't true.
  • Re-build self confidence from the inside out.

2. Packing and Moving:
  • Buy boxes from Amazon and have them shipped to current residence. They even have boxes that come with packing tape for $15-$20. Super easy. 
  • U-Haul is the way to go. Never pay for movers, unless you have TONS of stuff. $19.99 and $13 for 80K insurance. So worth it.
  • Storage units in NYC are the way to go, if you are gonna dip out and travel. Most places have super cheap 1st months with no hidden fees either! 
  • Storage Units that have free first months rent and free movers are GOLD
  • Everything is fleeting. Nothing is permanent. And that is a very, very good thing.

3. Transportation:
  • I have about 10 different walking speeds. A good 7.5 is a nice stride. I get shin splints if I'm on speed 10 for too long and am basically sleepwalking if I am anywhere under a 5. 
  • Uber and Lyft and all of these new car services are amazing! Most come with coupons and free first rides too! 
  • I have learned to love the subways. They no longer feel too fact, sometimes I put the train ride in the category of "alone time". 
  • My bike is the best purchase I have ever made here. Helmet, 2nd best purchase. Lights, 3rd.

5. Efficiency:
  • I pre-type texts & e-mails on the subway and send them when I get off the train.
  • I try to live in the present but have the next 24 hours very closeby.
  • I try to have at least 3-4 different functional outfits on my person at all times. To teach, to practice, to go out, and to be comfortable. And have it all fit inside a small bag...SKILLS!

6. Pedestrians:
  • It is absolutely not okay to stop in the middle of the sidewalk to look at your phone. You are a pedestrian and your body is your vehicle. PULL OVER to the side. 
  • May the slow walkers be blessed! 
  • When biking, pedestrians can actually be more dangerous than cars...most of them are looking down at their phones unfortunately...stopping, yielding, and slowing down for them has to be considered (even though it makes much more sense to just stop walking their legs!)

7. Intuition:
  • More so than ever, I have learned to trust my instinct about people, places, and situations. If someone is approaching me, I try to read their energy while they are still 10 steps away and decide if I want to be approached or walk away. 
  •  I trust my gut so much more. I try to never question or doubt that feeling. My body tells me more these days too...or maybe I pay more attention to it. If something is not right, my stomach will actually start to ache.
8. Friends:
  • People are busy and have mad lives, compassion works...expectations don't.
  • Friendliness!
  • It takes quite a bit of effort to connect together and make plans...but it's important to stay connected, even if it means going out of my way sometimes. 
  • Kismet and kindred spirits are my favorite surprises. 
9. Self-Care:
  • I work hard, so I need to love hard. And loving myself and treating myself well is super duper important. Getting a massage is one of my favorite things now. Groupon is amazing. 
  • Yoga, gym, and walking are absolute necessities 
  • Ordering in. 
  • Doin' nothin'. 
  • Dancin'
 10. Dating the City:
  • To maintain my love, inspiration, enchantment, and respect for NYC, I gotta make dates with it. Once a week is good. Or every other week.
  • I gotta try something new often. Shake up patterns and routines and take advantage of what is here!! Museums, parks, shows, the food!

    It's been a challenging yet rewarding and incredibly interesting year. So grateful for all the experiences I have had, friends I have met, decisions I have had to make, and for the many, many learning curves. Thank you, City. Until we toast again next year!

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Old Self Teaches Now Self

 Found this today. Wrote it sometime in early Feb. 2014:

On the 5:15am train ride into the city to teach my 6:30am class, I noticed a passed out homeless man who had his hips touching the seat, his feet on the ground, and the rest of his body laying on the 6 train seat. The shape of his body was an upside down “L”, the smell of his body was torturous, and seeing this somebody’s condition was heart wrenching. I did not pay too much attention to the sleeping man, in fact I remember thinking as I turned away, “That is not what I want to see first thing in the morning, no, no, no way.”

As I caught my aversion to the suffering, I created an interesting dialogue with myself. What am I turning away from? Why? I was turning away from looking at human suffering at a very extreme level. Why? Because it made me uncomfortable. So by sparing myself my own feelings of discomfort, I scoffed away.

Being interested in Buddhism, aversion, suffering, and the human condition…after catching the thought of aversion and my corresponding action, I was curious to turn around and just be with it for a moment. I wanted to embrace this. Embracing reality, embracing what is, embracing my own feelings and experience of another human’s serious suffering. Not the kind of suffering that I feel on a very superficial level…but the suffering that does not have a home. The suffering that is hardly embodied. Skin and bones so fragile, a body that is hardly breathing. As I looked at this man I even questioned if he was alive or not. It was really difficult to tell.

As I continued looking into this feeling of discomfort, I found something interesting. I asked myself “Why am I teaching yoga this morning? Why do I practice this practice?"

Yoga reminds me that I can hold space for all of it. I can handle, witness, and hold space for my own human suffering and the suffering of others as well. I can witness the darkness, greet it with empathy, and feel into it, around it, through it, and above it. Yoga strengthens my body, but mostly my heart. It reminds me that I can keep a veil of love and protection around me at all times, yet still penetrate the deepest core of feeling and witnessing to whatever comes up.


Right now was a great time to stumble upon this writing from my past. Good reminder from a previous reflective morning. Thank you, past Self. 

Similiar theme in my life now... Sitting and dealing with discomfort. Not trying to mask it, fake it, turn away from it, suppress it, mistake it, discard it, nor escape it.

Leaning into it a bit. Leaning into letting go. Holding space for my new transition. Leaning into following my heart, all the way through---it's what got me where I am right now.

No attachment.


Bye-bye Queens. Thank you for the reintroduction back to NYC. Thank you for the necessary challenges and all your moments of cozy comfort and ease. Learned a lot about my voice the past 10 months. Learned a lot about my intuition, where I am willing and not willing to compromise. You set my heart aflame and reworked and reinspired my necessary-inner-biatch. Yeah, she really got molded and sculpted in the most raging of ways. Aho!

See you soon Brooklyn! I wonder what you have planned...